Why The Pre-Ceremony First Look Is The Worst Addition To Your Wedding Day
I’m sure you experienced it. The moment you got engaged, maybe 24 hours after it happened and the adrenaline subsided, the bombarding commenced. Ads in the mail, targeted Facebook campaigns, Instagram promotions, spam emails…. All wedding vendors trying to grab your attention and to convince you to book them for your wedding. They all bring a certain level of bias into the mix. The florist has opinions, the DJ simply won’t recommend that you place the cake cutting before the toasts, and the photographer (that’s me) does not recommend you try and recreate that mountain-backdrop portrait you saw on Pinterest. You live in Kansas for goodness sake! At the end of the day, as you manage all that communication, balance the itinerary, and make sure Uncle Bob has the requisite Miller Light at the open bar, it’s easy to forget what really matters.
How do you feel on your wedding day? Can you remember it? Are those fleeting moments crafted in such a way so as to allow your mind to take a backseat to your heart? It sounds corny, but your wedding is of as much emotional significance as it is legal - if not more.
How Does The First Look Fit Into This Equation?
The first look is arguably to most hotly-debated topic in my client consults. If you didn’t know, the “first look” in the wedding industry is when you and your betrothed, before the ceremony, see each other and have a few quiet moments together before the hustle and bustle of the rest of the wedding day begins. Technically, the first look could also be at the ceremony as the bride walks down the aisle, but in the context of weddings, the “first look” is almost exclusively reserved for the pre-ceremony version.
When I ask my couples if they’re doing a first look, if they haven’t had the conversation yet, the answer isn’t always apparent. Maybe your cousin chose not to do a first look, and she really enjoyed seeing her bride for the first time during the ceremony. But, of course, your best friend did his first look before the ceremony and continues to praise the logistical benefits that doing so afforded his wedding day timeline. So, the choice could go both ways.
The fact of the matter is this, and I want to make it abundantly clear to my couples and any couples reading this: Never sacrifice the traditional or emotional significance of a moment during your wedding day to the benefit of the timeline. Sure, allowing the couple to see each other before the ceremony removes much of the tasks between the ceremony and reception. However, if guests have to wait an extra 30 minutes for the meals to be served, that’s fine, nobody will starve. If the DJ needs to wait to play the walk-in music, it’s okay, they deal with that all the time. If the photographer needs to cram a few extra family photos into an hour than they planned to, no worries! It’s part of the gig, and we can always do some night photos with the couple (which I highly recommend).
If you were looking forward to the pivotal moment in your life when you see your person standing at the other end of that aisle, glowing like they never have before, then hold on to that. Keep that close to your heart, and your partners on your wedding day will adapt and, most importantly, be excited for you in that choice. So, this first look event that you see in countless magazines and articles may be for some people, but it also may not be for you!